18 months and more than a lifetime away

Today is actually March 16th, 2011. Through a roundabout circumstance I found out that someone I knew a lifetime ago died on November 27, 2009. From the moment I stumbled on the obituary it has rocked me to the core. He and I didn't always have the healthiest relationship. But I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was built for great things. I tried so hard to "save" him. But he didn't want to change and his life choices led to the end of our relationship. Over the years I have thought about him now and then. I have always thought that one day I would run into him at some Church function. That somehow after all this time he would have found his way back to the Church and would have an adorable wife and kids. I wanted him to find peace. Because what I remember most is that he didn't have that. I thought for sure that we would compare our lives and he would apologize for the choices he made and we could both be completely at peace with one another. As I thought about him today I remember that he had the most beautiful smile, that he loved his grandmother, and that when he dressed up he was so handsome. He made great enchiladas and when he was happy he was really good to me. I am so sad that his life was ended so young. But in my search it seemed that he did have a good life and had done good things with the years in between. I know that I will continue to think of him over the years and that someday we will meet again in heaven. Rest in peace, my friend. Rest in peace.

Post edit. Thoughts of him have "haunted" me since yesterday. I see his face and think of both the good and bad times. And I feel so sad that we never made peace. It has been so many years and it seems so odd to me that something from another lifetime would bother me so much. And yet, I remember that I loved him. I really believed that I would run into him again one day. That I would introduce him to my three adorable kiddos and that his life would be equally good and that after a little while we would hug and say goodbye and that hole that had been created so many years ago, the one that I haven't thought about for years, would be filled with peace instead of sorrow and bitterness. I guess even after this many years and that many tears it still seems incredibly unfair that his life was cut short. I feel sad that I won't get that chance in this lifetime. Someday soon I will look to see if I still have that old picture of us. I remember seeing it when we lived in Phoenix. I know I considered throwing it away, though I can't recall if I acted on that or not. I hope that maybe I didn't. It would be nice to see his smile again.

Updated: I have continued to think about him and us and our life at that time. It surprises me that I can remember so little of it. How a something that was so important has been so easily washed out of my mind. But it also surprises me what I do remember when I think about it for a little while. I know that for years I have been mad about the christmas tree. I was mad because he bought it with a Target card that I then had to pay off. But the truth of the matter is, it was a really sweet gesture and he was trying so hard to do something really nice. I have found myself talking to him. Hoping beyond hope that he is somewhere at peace and that he knows I am thinking of him.

More great words to remember

This is our one and only chance at mortal life—here and now. The longer we live, the greater is our realization that it is brief. Opportunities come, and then they are gone. I believe that among the greatest lessons we are to learn in this short sojourn upon the earth are lessons that help us distinguish between what is important and what is not. I plead with you not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and non-existent future when you will have time to do all that you want to do. Instead, find joy in the journey—now...Let us relish life as we live it, find joy in the journey, and share our love with friends and family.

So grateful for a Prophet!

If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware. The tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered around the house, the piles and piles of laundry lying around to be tackled, will disappear all too soon. And, you will, to your surprise, miss them profoundly.

Thomas S. Monson

Counting your blessings

On a whim I headed to Zillow tonight to see what our Phoenix home would be worth today. Homes in our lovely, former neighborhood have sold in the past 3-5 months for roughly $80,000. In fact, our very model sold for that price not long ago. Although it was difficult and heart wrenching to sell our house for what we did, how very blessed we are that we were able to sell it. As an update...we have dates for our new home! Hopefully, walk through and signing on the 4th of December and closing and keys on the 10th! Cross your fingers for us as the 4th is still just tentative. If we miss that date we will likely not receive our keys until the following week - 15th or 16th. We spent nearly two hours at the house today measuring windows and surveying the changes. We have lighting fixtures, garage doors and a garage door opener that we were not expecting (yippee for saving $350!). The corian is also in, as are the cabinets. Tonight we also picked out our black splash, which made us extra grateful to be saving on the garage door opener! The linoleum is in and though we have no intention of keeping it, it was not nearly as bad as either of us remembered which means we may choose to live with it a little longer than originally planned. Just a few short weeks. I feel like pinching myself. I almost can't believe it is happening!

It just goes to show...you should stick with what you know

I love having a day off in the middle of the week! We went to the zoo and lunch with Dave and Bella. We also decided to brave the new Super Target in town. Knowing that I needed to get groceries to make enchiladas, I was oh-so-happy with this multi-purpose store that would turn two errands into one. Particularly since it was long beyond nap time and the natives were getting restless. The joy in this adventure disappeared when I found myself in the Mexican food aisle staring at shelves of enchilada sauce. This should be no big deal, except for the fact that I have used the same enchilada sauce for the past few years. I love my enchilada sauce. I even turned by favorite friend onto it even though she had spent her whole life making authentic, from-scratch sauce. My favorite brand was that good. And Super Target did not have it. Not super. As I stood in that aisle one native kicked the other, another started doing the bathroom dance, and the third was wailing at the top of her lungs (because she was on the other side of that kick). I knew in that moment that I would be crazy to stop at another store just to make sure that I bought my favorite brand of sauce. I had to make a choice so I picked one.

Fast forward to dinner prep. I opened the can of the not-my-favorite-brand of enchilada sauce. The color was all wrong. The smell was not the same either. And then, there was the tiny taste from the tip of my finger. This definitely was NOT my favorite brand. I searched the cupboards hoping to find a rouge can of the favorite brand. None. Drats. Two kids were sleeping, one was in the bath. There were no options. Ben is working late all week. So, I used the unfavorite brand. I was skeptical. I was not looking forward to dinner, and I love enchiladas. An hour later dinner was ready, the enchiladas were on the table. I started with half of one enchilada, just to be sure. And you know what. They were DELICIOUS! Yummier even than the favorite brand of enchilada sauce. So yummy that I have a new favorite. So it just goes to show that you should stick with what you know...except sometimes you shouldn't! Sometimes you need to try something new just because you can. Are you stuck in a rut with a perceived favorite? It just might be time for something new!

Trick or Treat!

We had so much fun Trick or Treating with Bella and Dave. Each time I see them I am reminded how much I will miss them when they move! But for this night, it was all about friends, fun, and CANDY!

Thanks so much for inviting us to join you!

My Classroom in October

Las Vegas...Long Over Due

You would think that since I am done with teaching that getting this post added would have been a piece of cake. But apparently I am better at blogging when it is my main source for avoiding my online teaching responsibilities. Anyway, here it is at last...a quick, but great trip to Vegas! I am looking forward to similar ones in the future...where are we going next? Aunnie? Moma?

On Friday night we started with a yummy family dinner at Bahama Breeze.
Ben and I loved this restaurant until it left Phoenix permanently.
Dinner and the company were both great!
After we decided to walk it off by showing mom around some of the hotels.
1st up was the Belagio. Where else to start than the gardens and water show?
Next we went to The Paris and Cesar's Palace.
As it was getting late and we had planned an early morning, we decided to call it quits before midnight!

A perfect start to our Saturday! Thanks for going with us!

I loved this part of our trip and am so glad that we made time for it.

The real reason for our trip!

Drew and Beth got hitched!

Cutest baby in Vegas!

After the dinner at the Sahara...
something none of us hope to repeat

Jennie and Paul went about squishing pennies.

The night was young and there was more to see.

So we bought tickets and jumped on the monorail.

1st stop was MGM where we took the absolute longest route through the whole smoky place when there was a door right in front of us. Go figure!

Moma enjoying the monorail!

Opa's Happiest Place on Earth!

I love Sunday Brunch. It is one of my favorite things

and something that I miss since joining the Church.

But every once in awhile,

a vacation hits just the right way and I get to indulge.

And indulge we did!

We invited Jennie and Kyle to join us as a belated birthday gift to both.

Having previously enjoyed the Sunday Brunch at

both the Belagio and Cesar's Palace

I have to admit that the Paris definitely gave both a run for their money!

The dessert house.

A whole house devoted to dessert.

Jennie and Ben enjoyed the crab legs

Jennie was disgusted at the idea of eating a crawdad.

Until she finally succumbed to the torture of her older brother.

It really was so much fun!