I must be feeling better. The blind eye that I have been turning on the state of my house is no longer working. Yesterday I overdid it-cleaning the kitchen, folding the laundry, straightening the girl's rooms, and putting away the decorations from the top of the kitchen cupboards. I gave myself a headache and a fever. Great. But I had to be awake because I had the littlest to keep an eye on. Today, though, today I did nothing. Not exactly true. I played the Toy Story video game that I watched Sugar and Spice play yesterday. And I took a 4 hour nap. And picked up the kids and managed to feed them dinner. Well...I managed to order their dinner. That's more truthful. And I think I figured out what is wrong with the van. (More on that later. Just say a little prayer that it does it's job til I can get it to the mechanic after school tomorrow.)
But now as the hour of returning to work is fast approaching I find myself in that all-to-familiar- panic mode. I look around and see it all. I see the state that my room is in and think "why have I let this go for so long?" I see the stack of games in the hallway that need to be put back in the game closet that is maybe 5 feet away. But seeing it I know that opening the closet I will be faced with a disorganized mess that will take at least 30 minutes to sort out before the games will fit again. The linen closet is still desperate for attention. Made 10 times worse by the fact that I simply threw the extra Christmas wrapping, boxes, labels, bags, etc. on top of the already big mess. And alas, someday I will have a clean, functional, organized laundry room without three full baskets of dirty laundry waiting outside to be attended to. The tree is still up. Two trees to be exact. And they are full of decorations. And one still has presents waiting to be put away. The laundry is folded-but still all over the living room with more waiting patiently in the hallway for the children to not only notice it, but to also pick it up and put it, not on their floors, but in the drawers where they belong. I long to take a gigantic load of stuff to goodwill. How is it that Sugar and Spice will be five this year and I still have maternity clothes?
Ah! Can you see it. My unraveling. Sometimes I look around our house and marvel at how much we have accomplished in a year. Other times I look around and wonder how it is possible that we have lived here a full year and still have huge pockets of chaos. For some reason the chaos is just a little bit clearer on the eve of returning to school when I am not quite feeling well. So. Since turning a blind eye is no longer working...I think I will just turn out the lights and walk around in the dark. Though, given the state of things that might result in injury. I guess the only thing left to do is to succumb in my comfy bed and pretend for another night that I am ignorant of the state of things. After all, ignorance is bliss.
But now as the hour of returning to work is fast approaching I find myself in that all-to-familiar- panic mode. I look around and see it all. I see the state that my room is in and think "why have I let this go for so long?" I see the stack of games in the hallway that need to be put back in the game closet that is maybe 5 feet away. But seeing it I know that opening the closet I will be faced with a disorganized mess that will take at least 30 minutes to sort out before the games will fit again. The linen closet is still desperate for attention. Made 10 times worse by the fact that I simply threw the extra Christmas wrapping, boxes, labels, bags, etc. on top of the already big mess. And alas, someday I will have a clean, functional, organized laundry room without three full baskets of dirty laundry waiting outside to be attended to. The tree is still up. Two trees to be exact. And they are full of decorations. And one still has presents waiting to be put away. The laundry is folded-but still all over the living room with more waiting patiently in the hallway for the children to not only notice it, but to also pick it up and put it, not on their floors, but in the drawers where they belong. I long to take a gigantic load of stuff to goodwill. How is it that Sugar and Spice will be five this year and I still have maternity clothes?
Ah! Can you see it. My unraveling. Sometimes I look around our house and marvel at how much we have accomplished in a year. Other times I look around and wonder how it is possible that we have lived here a full year and still have huge pockets of chaos. For some reason the chaos is just a little bit clearer on the eve of returning to school when I am not quite feeling well. So. Since turning a blind eye is no longer working...I think I will just turn out the lights and walk around in the dark. Though, given the state of things that might result in injury. I guess the only thing left to do is to succumb in my comfy bed and pretend for another night that I am ignorant of the state of things. After all, ignorance is bliss.
I love the walking away part....Try blinders! They work well too.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that you are a bit better. Hang in there. You're almost to the hump day! Stay well and don't overdo!!! Ha-ha!