A prayer in my heart

So, tomorrow we see another specialist for My Little Reader. This time we are seeing a different pediatric ophthalmologist. After all we went through last time, I vowed I wouldn't go back to the other one ever, ever again. A few weeks ago My Little Reader went in for a regular eye appointment. The optometrist we saw last time doesn't work at that office anymore. I wish he had been there since he had a better understanding of the condition of her left eye. But either way the optometrist she saw felt there was concern that she has developed glaucoma in her good eye. And thanks to the wonder of the internet and a quick, easy and painful search I learned that glaucoma can lead to optic nerve atrophy just like in her bad eye. Which means she could end up with 2 bad eyes. Which leads to things that I don't even want to put on paper, having them in my heart and mind is hard enough. So, once again I have a prayer in my heart and on my lips. A mantra over and over, pleading constantly that this will be ok, that she will be ok, that medicine for once can help and make a difference and preserve the eyesight she has. I pray for the doctor that he is one of the awesome ones because heaven knows we have had both awful and amazing doctors and it makes all the difference. I pray that he will have a good bedside manner and that he will know the fears of a mother and will calm them regardless of what the outcome will be.  I pray for my little girl. I pray constantly that she will be able to see whatever she wants for the rest of her life. I pray that we have already gotten through the worst of this. I pray for the doctors that are making advances every day. I pray that they will be inspired and that they will create miracles that will touch her life. But mostly I just pray for peace. I pray for the same peace I felt with the 2nd MRI and that when I wake in the morning I won't have any of the fear, terror, or nausea that plagued the first MRI. But at the end of the day all fear, nausea, hope, tears, pleading aside, I know that Heavenly Father has a plan, that his plan is perfect and just as it should be even if I can't see it yet.