Full circle... looking for the right words

I have been pondering this post for several days. My struggle comes from wanting to share something that I believe deep down to my core but that might sound unlikely or odd to some of my friends and family that have different beliefs than we do in my little family. Despite this, much like bearing my testimony at church, this feeling in the pit of my stomach just keeps urging me to share... so here I go.

Full Circle...
11 years ago yesterday I was awoken by one of the most heartbreaking calls of my life. As I sit here I can think of maybe only one other call that even comes close. Early that morning my dad was calling to tell me that his dad had passed away. My grandpa was one of my most favorite people in the world. I loved vacations to his home in Carlsbad. Every Saturday morning we would have eggs, flat bacon, orange rolls, and cranberry juice in small glass juice cups. He came all the way to Tucson for my high school graduation. And I knew that as his oldest grandchild he was proud of me. I can still picture every detail of his home. I can still see him sleeping on the couch, head thrown back and mouth hanging open.


My grandpa's death came amidst a year of turmoil. My job was rotten. I worked at a grocery store and was constantly being laid off because they couldn't guarantee me 20 hours in single store. So I would spend the week driving all over town picking up shifts for people that called in sick. I was also at the end of a rotten relationship with a guy that wouldn't know the truth if it was looking him in the eyes. Having my grandpa pass away so unexpectedly broke my heart. We all drove out to Carlsbad for the funeral. I stayed a few extra days with my mom to help clean and close up the house until it could be sold, another rotten experience. Selling the house was much too final for me.


While we were in Carlsbad, my mom mentioned that she has seen an ad for Sears saying that they were hiring. I did apply for the job and expected something along the lines of the shoe department or clothing. Instead I found myself in the most unlikely of all jobs...the automotive department. However, in that auto shop I met two of the kindest young men I have ever had the privilege of knowing. Their example led me to join the LDS Church where among other things I have learned about eternal families and our existence before birth.


Fast forward 6 years...When My Princess in Training was born I wanted nothing more than for her birthday to not be the 13th or the 15th (tax day, yuck!). So two years later when I went to the hospital to have Sugar and Spice I still had a strong aversion to having a baby with a birthday that would fall on Friday the 13th every couple of years. I know that might sound ridiculous, but at the time it made sense. Blame it on the hormones!


At some point during the day my mom reminded me that it was the anniversary of my grandpa's passing and in that moment I had no doubt that this was exactly the day that my son was meant to be born. I knew that he and my grandpa had been together in the hours before my son was born. I knew that though they would never meet in this life, there would always be an unbreakable connection between my son and his great-grandpa. I knew that they had great conversations with each other on the other side of the veil and that some part of my grandpa would always be tucked in my son's heart. I knew that being born on that day was meant to always be a reminder to me about the eternal nature of families and the promise that one day I will see my grandpa again. And in that moment, my life had come full circle a day that had once been filled with sorrow was filled with happiness beyond measure.